A quick bite


On Sunday, I attended a bridal shower for my cousin’s fiancee, and afterwards went with family to a nearby diner. I’d never been to this particular diner, and was perusing the menu when I came across something that, two days later, still defies explanation. It was a dish called “a monkey of fries,” and I am soliciting opinions on what that could possibly, possibly mean.

Words and phrases I could live without: volume 13



~jeggings (I’ve only come across this “word” two or three times, which is two or three times too many. It is a hybrid of jeans and leggings. Then there is the rarer but even worse ‘jorts,’ which is a combination of jeans and shorts.)

~”Jersey Shore”


~Too bad, so sad


The words and phrases phenomenon invades my subconscious


They (whoever “they” are) say that you dream about what’s on your mind during waking hours. But despite the irrefutable evidence that, while awake, my thoughts often tend towards words and phrases I could live without, I’d never before had them cross my mind while sleeping. That is, until a few months ago.

In this dream, I was watching TV and a commercial came on. As the pitchman uttered the catchphrase, I groaned and mentally added it to my next list.

You may be wondering why I’m sharing this particular anecdote, and the reason is this: current and aspiring ad execs, I’m asking you, nay, beseeching you, to not use the phrase “pretzel me” in any campaign you may be planning. And if you find you just can’t help yourselves, well, at least give credit where it’s due: to my finely-tuned sense of word-and-phrase obnoxiousness.

Words and phrases I could live without: volume 12



“First!” (as people inexplicably seem to like to say in response to Facebook posts)


“I’mma…” (Thanks, Kanye.)

“Me likey.”

vampire (I’m sorry; I just don’t get the craze. Please don’t bite me. :))