Not abracadabra

Sometimes I think that

If I can find the right words

I can do magic

The words and phrases phenomenon invades my subconscious

They (whoever “they” are) say that you dream about what’s on your mind during waking hours. But despite the irrefutable evidence that, while awake, my thoughts often tend towards words and phrases I could live without, I’d never before had them cross my mind while sleeping. That is, until a few months ago.

In this dream, I was watching TV and a commercial came on. As the pitchman uttered the catchphrase, I groaned and mentally added it to my next list.

You may be wondering why I’m sharing this particular anecdote, and the reason is this: current and aspiring ad execs, I’m asking you, nay, beseeching you, to not use the phrase “pretzel me” in any campaign you may be planning. And if you find you just can’t help yourselves, well, at least give credit where it’s due: to my finely-tuned sense of word-and-phrase obnoxiousness.

Saturday sighing

They say good things come

To those who wait, but I’d like

The specifics, please

 

Exhaustion is your

Words constantly being met

With indifference

 

 

 

 

Words and phrases I could live without: volume 12

epic

“First!” (as people inexplicably seem to like to say in response to Facebook posts)

game-changer

“I’mma…” (Thanks, Kanye.)

“Me likey.”

vampire (I’m sorry; I just don’t get the craze. Please don’t bite me. :))

“Woot!”

Hello?

Outside looking in

I try to knock

But go unheard