Words and phrases I could live without: volume 15

~3-d

~Black Friday

~”He went to Jared!”

~Junk in the trunk

A letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

Please bring the retailers of America calendars this year, as they seem to be under the mistaken impression that Christmas comes right after Halloween!

Love, November

//

Words and phrases I could live without: volume 14

~All over it like white on rice

~flash mob

~man-cave

~Occupy Wall Street (Not a commentary on the movement…other than to say that I’m tired of hearing about it.)

~zombie (this year’s vampire)

 

 

//

Greetings and salutations. Welcome to the sink.

I was filling my cat’s water bowl yesterday morning when the sink spoke to me. Or, more accurately, wrote to me.

Now, I don’t expect you to just take my word for it. You don’t know me. I could have been tired, and imagining things. I could have a fanciful imagination. I could even be lying, inventing an interesting story so I’d have something to write about. But pictures don’t lie pictures taken by people who don’t know how to use Photoshop don’t lie. And so I present:

Don't tell me you don't see it!

If my sink has to be inhabited by a ghost, I’m glad it’s a friendly one.

(Editor’s note: The editor thinks it’s possible that ghosts exist, but does not truly believe that one is living in her sink. Unless the faucet goes on by itself. That might convince her.)

 

 

//

Touché, universe.

I was all set to post a poem in which I lamented my neighbor’s recent foray into early-morning carpentry, when, perhaps mistaking today for Halloween, the cosmos decided to play a trick on me. Along it sent what I can only imagine were the two loudest machines in existence to congregate outside my window. (Oh, and did I mention the guy in the tree?)  “Um, Wendy?” it said, not tapping me politely on the shoulder, but smacking me about the head. “That’s noise.”

 

//

A good day in baseball

The Yankees lose! The-e-e-e Yankees lose!

But in news that makes me even happier, the Chicago White Sox have hired my all-time favorite player, Robin Ventura, to be their new manager. From what I’ve been reading, White Sox fans seem about as happy as if I’d been named manager, but I’m thrilled. Baseball, and, at the risk of sounding overly rapturous, the world need more good guys.

 

 

//

Ten years

The soft whoosh of planes

Usually unnoticed

All I hear today

 

//

A quick bite

On Sunday, I attended a bridal shower for my cousin’s fiancee, and afterwards went with family to a nearby diner. I’d never been to this particular diner, and was perusing the menu when I came across something that, two days later, still defies explanation. It was a dish called “a monkey of fries,” and I am soliciting opinions on what that could possibly, possibly mean.

Words and phrases I could live without: volume 13

~facepalm

~jeggings (I’ve only come across this “word” two or three times, which is two or three times too many. It is a hybrid of jeans and leggings. Then there is the rarer but even worse ‘jorts,’ which is a combination of jeans and shorts.)

~”Jersey Shore”

~larva

~Too bad, so sad

 

Poetry prevails

Haiku, my constant

When writer’s block bedevils

You provide solace

Not abracadabra

Sometimes I think that

If I can find the right words

I can do magic

The words and phrases phenomenon invades my subconscious

They (whoever “they” are) say that you dream about what’s on your mind during waking hours. But despite the irrefutable evidence that, while awake, my thoughts often tend towards words and phrases I could live without, I’d never before had them cross my mind while sleeping. That is, until a few months ago.

In this dream, I was watching TV and a commercial came on. As the pitchman uttered the catchphrase, I groaned and mentally added it to my next list.

You may be wondering why I’m sharing this particular anecdote, and the reason is this: current and aspiring ad execs, I’m asking you, nay, beseeching you, to not use the phrase “pretzel me” in any campaign you may be planning. And if you find you just can’t help yourselves, well, at least give credit where it’s due: to my finely-tuned sense of word-and-phrase obnoxiousness.

Saturday sighing

They say good things come

To those who wait, but I’d like

The specifics, please

 

Exhaustion is your

Words constantly being met

With indifference

 

 

 

 

Words and phrases I could live without: volume 12

epic

“First!” (as people inexplicably seem to like to say in response to Facebook posts)

game-changer

“I’mma…” (Thanks, Kanye.)

“Me likey.”

vampire (I’m sorry; I just don’t get the craze. Please don’t bite me. :))

“Woot!”

Hello?

Outside looking in

I try to knock

But go unheard

World Autism Awareness Day

http://www.lightitupblue.org/

http://www.worldautismawarenessday.org

While we’re on the subject of farm animals…

I was heading to work on a particularly cold day a month or so ago when an older gentleman sitting near me on the bus struck up a conversation as I neared my stop. Noticing the small stuffed cow attached to my bag, he asked what the benefit of it was. “Uh, nothing,” I replied hesitantly. He then proceeded to tell me: “Well, there’s the milk, and then there’s the cow sh__…”

It was at this point that I decided against staying on the bus a stop longer than I usually do, possible frostbite being a preferable option to continuing this chat.

But shear-iously

I have long wondered why it is that we’re supposed to count sheep when we can’t sleep. Why sheep as opposed to another type of animal? Why an animal at all?

Words and phrases I could live without: volume 11

~app(s)

~”It’s always the quiet ones.”

~loose (It just conjures up unpleasant images.)

~mellow

 ~”[Person] has forgotten more about [subject] than I’ll ever know.”

~Uggs

And a special reader request: “the American people” (as used by politicians who seem to think we are a single entity).

 

If you have a special reader request, you can e-mail me at leastlikelytoblog at hotmail.com.

 

//

Just a note

When I first started getting comments, I responded to them via e-mail or on the commenter’s blog. A few months ago, though, I decided I’d respond directly in the post, in hopes of spurring conversation. (Which, um, hasn’t happened. Yet!) Anyway, I just wanted to let those who have commented know that I am not ignoring you (and that I appreciate your comments).

Thus concludes my most boring post ever. (Hey, what do you mean this wasn’t my most boring post ever?)

Deja vu all snow-ver again

http://leastlikelytoblog.wordpress.com/2009/03/02/snow-day/

(The only difference is that this year, I’m not on vacation ’til next week.)

What’s that? Reruns are boring? Yeah. You’re right. Okay. Here’s a mini-poem:

 

Mother Nature, Mother Nature, why do you tease us so?

Last week a robin red-breast

Today a foot of snow!

Words and phrases I could live without reaches double digits (that’d be volume 10 for you non-math people ;))

baby daddy/baby mama

catfight

Ed Hardy

guyliner

“I’d hit/tap that.”

meme

played in (as in, “Michael J. Fox played in “Back to the Future.”" No. He didn’t. He acted in it.)

Special reader request: reach out for

The beginning of the end

In less than an hour, the last season of  LOST will commence. I both can’t wait…and can. I can’t imagine that we will see another show this multilayered, mysterious, intellectual, and unique ever again, and while I’m nearly jumping up and down in anticipation (and, trust me, I’m not someone who’s easily excitable), I’m also not ready for it to be over yet.

Concise book review No. 8: “In the Woods” (Contains spoilers. And run-on sentences.)

I didn’t read a single bad book last year, and the streak remains intact with Tana French’s “In the Woods,” narrated by Dublin homicide detective Rob Ryan, whose latest case, the murder of a twelve-year-old girl, takes him back to the woods where, as a child, his two best friends vanished; he was found covered in blood with no recollection of what had happened.

For those who don’t like ambiguity, I will tell you that the disappearance of Rob’s friends remains unresolved, but this doesn’t detract from the story. Rob is a fully-drawn character who remains sympathetic as his life begins to unravel; his partner/closest friend, Cassie, who narrates the follow-up “The Likeness,” which I’ll be reading next, is also very likeable. Though the murder and its perpetrator are disturbing, it was the dissolution of Rob and Cassie’s friendship that I found most wrenching.

 

Tonight, it’s been a year

(Okay, technically it was a year ago yesterday morning, but I couldn’t resist an ’80s-song reference.)

One year ago, I began this blog by telling you that I was a liar. (Update: I did become a Facebooker a few months ago. But I still have a plain old–emphasis on old– cell phone and no Twitter account– in other words, the crown and sash aren’t forthcoming.) As I mentioned, I’ve enjoyed getting back to my writerly ways, and I’m thrilled that there are people who seem to enjoy the results. (Yes, I have readers now! And commenters! And subscribers!) So, thank you, and the next time you come across an annoying word or phrase, I hope you’ll think of me.

Appropriately, post #100 is a poem

I miss short-sleeved shirts

I’m running out of sweaters

March 20th— come!

Eight wasn’t enough: Words and phrases I could live without, volume 9

~ Combined celebrity-couple names (i.e. Brangelina)

~ d_____bag

~ “I’m Team…”

~ mashup

~ skinny jeans

I feel like I’m forgetting something, which is almost as annoying as the aforementioned words and phrases.

See you next year!

See? It never gets old. ;)

Ah, just drop already

I am not a big fan of New Year’s Eve. I’m just, in general, leery of things that are so hype-surrounded, plus there’s the added aspect of being reminded of how quickly time is passing and how much of it I’ve wasted playing Solitaire. (I swear I am not getting paid to type that–or any other!–word; I’ve just been seriously addicted to it lately.) And, frankly, is the fact that’s it’s January, in my humble opinion the least wonderful time of the year, cause for celebration? (Though I will rejoice at not having to see those cars-with-giant-bows ads for another eleven months.)

But, hey, I’m not a total New Year’s curmudgeon/Grinch/Scrooge: I do always enjoy saying, “See you next year!” even if I’ll see or talk to the person to whom I’m saying it in a few days.

Flushing Bay

Jason Bay is a good player, and is said to be a good guy. I’m glad we (yes, I’m one of those fans who refers to their team as “we”) signed him, not least because it will, at least temporarily, quiet the annoying ‘fans’ who accuse the Mets of being cheap, despite having one of the highest payrolls in the game. But, wow, that’s a big contract.

Tedium, thy name is (company name deleted)

I write this as I lie

Waiting for the cable guy

“He’ll be there ‘tween 12 and 4.”

Yet no footsteps have neared my door

I’ve bided my time with many a glare

And countless games of Solitaire

I got a call at 4:05

He’s running late, they apologized

His arrival should be within the half hour

The rep’s seeming sincerity made my mood a bit less sour

The phone rings again; he’s here at last!

While writing this post, the minutes have passed

So here’s a suggestion: to pass the time

Let out your frustration in a rhyme! 

 

 

Why I write poems and not lyrics

I wish you a belated happy Hanukkah

I wish you a belated happy solstice

I wish you a belated happy Festivus

I wish you a merry Christmas

I wish you a happy Kwanzaa

I wish you a happy Boxing Day

And if I left anything out, tell me and I’ll remedy it next year

 

 

Freezin’s greetings

This is just to let you know

That on Monday, there will be no ode

To winter (as there was to fall before)

Because the cold I do abhor!

 

Another post

When I was a kid, I always thought that I would feel older or different on my birthday. I never did. But in the five days since I turned 3 thir twenty-nine plus one, I have felt a slight difference. I kind of feel like I have an extra shadow trailing behind me, reminding me that time is marching swiftly on. Sadly, this shadow has done nothing to curb my recent addiction to Solitaire.

“Wendy! You’re alive!”

This was jokingly said to me by a co-worker after I returned to work on Wednesday after I missed two days with Yet Another Cold. After I laughed, I decided it would be a rather apropos title for my next blog post, as I have not posted in quite some time. Indeed, since my last post, I have gained a year. But that’s a topic for another post…

Holiday haiku

No turkey for me

But pass the carrot bread, please.

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

What would make me go to a store at 4 in the morning

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The week in word news

Apparently, the New Oxford American Dictionary has chosen its word of the year, and it is…’unfriend.’ I’m not sure what I would have chosen, as, um, I tend not to like new words–maybe you’ve noticed? But how about you, readers– what would you have chosen?

Elsewhere (a high school in Massachusetts, to be precise) the word ‘meep’ has been banned.

And that is the latest from the world of words.

Words and phrases I could live without: volume 8– with my very first poll!

~ “bros before hos”

~ chill

~ holla!

~ hot mess

Concise book review No. 8: “The House at Riverton”

After I read (and loved) Kate Morton’s second book, “The Forgotten Garden,” I decided to go back and read her first, “The House at Riverton.” “House” is narrated by 99-year-old Grace Bradley, who was a maid at the titular house in the early 1900s. During a party, she witnessed the death of one of the guests; now, 75 years later, a movie is being made about the incident.

To say that “House” doesn’t quite hit the heights of “Garden” is not at all an insult; I liked it very much. Grace, both in the early part of the 20th century and in 1999, is an engaging narrator and the story is suspenseful, with a tragic, haunting denouement.

Thirty ’til thir– No. I can’t say it.

In exactly one month from today, I will be…well, no longer in my 20s. Now, I certainly don’t think that 30 is old, but it’s an age at which I feel that things, both personally and professionally, should be more settled than they are for me. And so I have come to think of this birthday as Scary Milestone No. 1™.

My yearly refrain

Halloween always makes me miss being a kid.

Rhetorical poem 2

If I keep saying

“It’s your loss” often enough

Might I believe it?

My new favorite quote

“Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one’s head.”

~ Mark Twain

So poetic, and, for me, at least, so true.

A limerick, because I’m sick

Colds suck*

But it could be worse

And that’s the point**

Of this silly verse 

 

* Probably the worst word you’ll ever #$%^ing see here.  ;)

** Also, I hadn’t written in a while.

Words and phrases other people could live without

How could I not post this?http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091007/ap_on_re_us/us_fea_lifestyles_annoying_words

Funnily, I don’t find it all that annoying, but perhaps that’s because I don’t encounter it in Valley Girl-ese.

My walk home

The sky grows ever darker

The remaining wisps of daylight

Obscured by ancient trees

The soft chirping of insects

Provides ample company

New month, new words and phrases I could live without (volume 7)

~ f-bomb

~ for the win (or FTW)

~ I’m all about

~ It is what it is.

~ live out loud

~ pamper

My ride home

I stare out the window of the bus

At sunset’s painterly streaks

Of purple and pink

I shiver

Not at the majesty of nature

But at the blasted, blasting air conditioner

On despite the fall chill

Attention: this is not a haiku

I never did wax poetic about spring (either literally or figuratively), did I? Well, I won’t let the same fate befall my second-favorite season:

 

The leaves have begun their downward dance

Forming mosaics on the ground

While upward

Float memories:

Of a recipe for cranberry muffins

And a rare New York hurricane

Haiku 5: Ode to sleep

I curl up beneath

My warm, soft quilt of patches

Strange dreams fill my head

!,?.

Happy National Punctuation Day, fellow grammar geeks! Why not celebrate with some free ice cream?

Haiku 4

I always forget

And become bewitched by words

Actions are louder

Concise book review No. 7: “The Forgotten Garden”

“The Forgotten Garden,” by Kate Morton, is about an Australian woman who, after the passing of her grandmother, Nell, journeys to Cornwall to continue Nell’s search for answers about her heritage. I figured out part of the solution early on, but no matter– I LOVED this book, with its lovely, evocative language and excellently-crafted characters.

Free ice cream!

I wanted to spread the word that Cold Stone Creamery is giving away ice cream in exchange for a donation to the Make a Wish Foundation on Thursday, September 24, from 5-8 PM. Further details here. Free ice cream: good. Helping sick kids: better. Thanks to my friend Omawarisan for the information.

Words and phrases I could live without version 6.0: nothing but ‘net

These seem to exist pretty much only in Internet Land…at least so far (cue ominous music):

~ made of win

~ ‘shippers

~ squee

 

 

…and 3

A scent on the breeze

Sparks a distant memory

Wondrous is the mind

Haiku 2

September’s chilled air

And its soft, early shadows

Hint at mysteries

No book for you!

(I don’t know why, but while trying to fall asleep, this post came almost fully-formed into my head.)

 As a reader/ librarian’s daughter/someone who believes in, you know, personal decisions,  I do not look too kindly upon those who would ban books. And, often, the books that come under objection are ones that most of us would see as completely innocuous. I can just imagine (cue dream sequence music):

Innocuous book: “The Tale of Peter Rabbit”

Imaginary book-banner: “Rabbits who can speak?! Clearly they’ve made a deal with the devil!”

 

Innocuous book: “Goodnight, Moon”

Imaginary book-banner: “Saying goodnight to the moon? Obviously a pagan ritual.”

 

Innocuous book: “The Cat in the Hat”

Imaginary book-banner: “Duh. Everyone knows cats are in league with witches.”

 

Looking at some of the books on this list of the 100 Most-Frequently Challenged Books from 1990-2000, though, I’m not sure how far-fetched my jokey scenarios are. I’ve read many of these books (my beloved “A Wrinkle in Time” is included), most of them when I was a child, and at least so far, there have been no ill effects.

 

Feel free (freedom is good!) to share your thoughts/add satirical excoriations of unobjectionable books.

 

 

 

Rhetorical poem

Was it time

That passed me by

Or was it I

That passed it?

Concise book reviews No. 5 and No. 6: “The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society” and “Revenge of the Spellmans”

 ”Guernsey,”  written by Mary Ann Shaffer and her niece Annie Barrows, is an epistolary novel (in the form of letters) about Juliet Ashton, a writer, and her communications with the citizens of Guernsey, a island in the English Channel. Though the story takes place just after World War II, the tone is– for the most part– light and pleasant. I felt the ending was a bit abrupt, though.

“Revenge of the Spellmans,” by Lisa Lutz, is the third in a series of humorous mysteries focusing on Isabel Spellman, P.I., and her family. It was an enjoyable read, as all the books have been, but I thought “Curse of the Spellmans,” the second book, was funnier and had a better mystery. 

 

Words and phrases I could live without: the accidentally-all-apparel (and halfway to double digits!) edition

~ Hollister (See my friend Omawarisan’s post. Actually, check out his whole blog. He’s very funny. :))

~ mom jeans

~ put on your big boy/big girl pants

//

Table manners

I am not

Disposable

A paper napkin

To be used

And casually tossed aside

I am smart

And funny and kind

I am cloth

 

 

 

 

 

3-2-1 contact

If for some reason you would like to e-mail me, you may do so at leastlikelytoblog at hotmail dot com. (And remember, no spam en francais!)

In which I am bossy for a good cause

(I’ve been meaning to post this for a while, but I have been extra-special procrastinatory lately (though, as you can see, I did find time to invent a new word :p).)

WordPress has partnered with a company called SocialVibe, through which sponsors donate to various charities. (Click here for complete details.) Now, what am I asking you to do? Just glance over to the sidebar, on the left-hand side of the page, and scroll all the way down, until you see a large rectangular box marked ‘SocialVibe.’ Click on the ‘help now’ button, and, just by clicking, money will be donated to the Whaleman Foundation, which helps whales and dolphins. Thank you!

Turn-back-the-clock Thursday

A few weeks ago, as I do occasionally, I was looking through a school memory book. It’s full of tests, report cards, drawings, and other assorted things (among them, a literal LOL-inducing letter to then-President Reagan), including a few poems, and since it’s been so poetry-centric around here lately (ahem, when I’ve posted), I thought it would be cute (and hopefully not self-indulgent) to post one of my ‘early works.’ It’s from June 2, 1988; I was just about to turn 8 1/2:

Wendy

Funny, creative, smart

Writing, drawing, walking

Shy

 

 

 

Return to rhyming

Every day

I feel sure

I can do more than I did

The day before

 

And then I wake

And then I find

Nothing has changed

But my mind

Haiku

Outside my window

The birds chirp furiously

What are they saying?

Deluged

Stress flows through me like

Water did the ceilings

But who will clean

Me up?

The bus stop

Alone, cold

All others have found their way

I see it now

Stand, to be noticed

But remain unseen

And left once more to wait

Concise book review No. 4: “One Good Turn”

Though I liked Kate Atkinson’s “One Good Turn,” I didn’t feel that it measured up to either its predecessor “Case Histories” (reviewed here) or its follow-up “When Will There Be Good News?” (reviewed here) For the most part, the characters, the strength of the other books, didn’t feel as rich and deep, and I’d have liked a conclusion that provided more of an explanation for why the preceding events occurred. Nonetheless, I look forward to the next book chronicling the (mis!)adventures of Jackson Brodie.

A word, phrases, live without…you know the drill: part IV

(In case you do not, in fact, know the drill:

http://leastlikelytoblog.wordpress.com/2009/02/22/words-i-could-live-without/

http://leastlikelytoblog.wordpress.com/2009/03/13/words-i-could-live-without-the-sequel-now-with-a-bonus-phrase/

http://leastlikelytoblog.wordpress.com/2009/04/16/words-and-a-phrase-i-could-live-without-now-its-a-trilogy/)

~ baby bump (You might think, judging by my post titles, that I’d never met an alliteration I didn’t like. Wrong! ;))

~ Book/movie titles containing the phrase “Confessions of a…”

~ jump the shark (Funnily, “jump the shark” long ago…jumped the shark! It’s so meta!)

~ meta ;)

Okay, readers– your turn.

//

A wonderful town

Onto the car he steps, red cart in tow

He performs sleight-of-hand

Wide-eyed, we regard

The dove’s fluttering wings

The rabbit’s wiggling nose

Only in New York

Friday fluff

I can’t help cringing whenever I see this AT&T commercial. I don’t know if it’s the lyrics (Wow, maybe, possibly falling? You sweet talker!) or my general aversion to sap, but I definitely find it wince-worthy. How about you, readers– what commercials make you leap for the mute button?

I can’t even think of a good title

…

…

…

Yeah. I have writer’s block.

I’m not sure I’ll be able to write for a while

I’m in a post-LOST-season-finale daze. Is it January yet?

Where I’ve been

Mostly my bed. And also, for a few hours Wednesday night/early Thursday morning, the E.R., after I briefly passed out. Yeah, I’m sick. And bored (whoever thought sleep would lose its charms?). And feeling rather isolated.

Sorry, all the creativity I currently have went into the poem. You’ll have to settle for this as a title. ;)

One day

The words will explode

Like fireworks from my mouth

Crackling, vivid

Against the formerly silent sky

Concise book review No. 3: “Case Histories”

I liked Jackson Brodie, the main character in Kate Atkinson’s “When Will There Be Good News?” so much that I decided to go back and read the two previous books featuring him, of which “Case Histories” is the first.

Much like “When…,” “Case Histories” focuses on intertwining stories of crime; though the coincidences bothered me a bit, I ultimately decided that I liked the “we’re all connected”-ness of them. Also as with “When…,”  the characterizations shone – Atkinson is so good at capturing humanness.  I also admire her ability to alternate between humor– I literally laughed out on several occasions– and heartache– I also cried on several occasions.

I did leave the book with some unanswered questions–or maybe, more accurately, things I’d liked to have seen explored further– but, even more than that, I left with a sense of hope.

Feel-good Friday

I think even those of you who aren’t baseball fans will smile at this story.

Weird (news) Wednesday weturns…er, returns ;)

I actually rather love this idea. :)

…Happy Earth Day to you

Tulips--my favorite flowers--outside my building

You say it’s your Earth Day…

I consider myself to live a pretty ecologically kind life – I’m a vegetarian, I use and wear only vegan, non-animal-tested products, I don’t own a car, I use my own bag when shopping, etc. (I don’t mention these things to be preachy or self-righteous– just for illustrative purposes.) So you’d think I’d be a huge proponent of Earth Day–and in theory, I guess I am.  It’s just… shouldn’t we be aware of our impact every day? Do people who aren’t typically environmentally-focused observe the day? If they do, does it have a long-term impact on their behavior? I don’t mean for these questions to be rhetorical– I’m really curious. What are your thoughts and experiences regarding Earth Day?

Thank you!

 As I mentioned, I enjoy writing for its (and my) own sake, but it’s always nice to have other people interested in what you have to say, too. So I was extremely gratified to see that I had a jaw-dropping 865* (!) views yesterday (with most visitors coming from here)– and I just wanted to say thank you, and I hope you’ll stick around!

*I know that the map thingy (yes, I prefer ‘thingy’ to ‘widget’ ;)) currently says that there were 403 views, but their counting period seems to be different than WordPress’s. Just wanted to let you know I’m not padding my totals. ;)

The proliferation of poetry proceeds

I shiver in the late-April cold

The mist tickles my nose

Strokes my forehead

Dots my ears

 

Home now

I sit in the dark

Listening to the rain pat the windows

And smile

W.o.w. (Wendy on writing)

With all the poems I’ve posted lately, you might think me a long-time poet, but honestly, I have never written as much poetry as I have here, not even at the height of my creative-writing period (a.k.a. elementary school/early junior high). In fact, I haven’t done this much writing, period, since then. I’m pleased to settle back into this long-neglected, but still comfortable, space. 

Returning to my writerly ways is, I think, beneficial for me. I’m someone who’s not very comfortable revealing her innermost thoughts, and while you can see that I haven’t done much of that here, the fact that I’m letting little bits and pieces peek through is a good thing, as is the joy I find in, as I like to say, ‘crafting sentences.’

I can too write non-rhyming poems!

The shadows whisper

Swirl and dance

Enveloping me in their hushed glow

Time for another installment of “Insomniac Poetry Theater”

The light encroaches

The birds fairly shout

But I have yet

To conk out!

(Previous early-morning verse can be read here and here.)

What’s French for ‘blog spam’?

Monsieurs,

I appreciate your thinking of me. I really do. But I’m afraid that right now isn’t the best time for me to purchase your wares, even at your undoubtedly tres bien prices. Perhaps when the economy is a bit better, or I grow a male appendage. Merci beaucoup!

Words (and a phrase) I could live without: now it’s a trilogy!

~ fail (Possibly as in, “You’re doing this again?! Fail!” ;))

~ frenemy

~ hater

~ just that/not that into

As always, please feel free to add words and/or phrases you could live without in the comment section. Oh, and here is the original post, and here’s the sequel.

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Hello, my name is…

As I mentioned way back in my first post, I am a very private person, and so, to this point, I’ve maintained my anonymity. But since I’ve now posted a picture of myself, I thought it rather silly to not share my name as well. So, hi; I’m Wendy. Okay, readers: now your turn to introduce yourselves.

Opening Day at NewShea (or, See how much my photography skills have improved?)

Yes, it's a garbage can. But it's a CUTE garbage can.

OMG! It's me!

 

                                          

                                          

Gag-me Sheffield

As a general rule, I am rarely critical of the Mets. However, when they sign a steroid-abusing egotist, as they did today, all bets are off. Ugh.

Almost April already

It’s a cliche

To say

But time flies

Flies

Away

And when I can’t sleep/I often mentally compose/Sometimes poetry/Sometimes prose

“Ah!” said she

As she arose

Reflecting on the simple pleasure

Of breathing through one’s nose

 

(See previous post for explanation.)

What’s that, socks?

Yes, spring is, at long last, here. I was all set to wax poetic about it, but I was struck last night by a bad cold, and now I rather feel as if my head is filled with wax. So, maybe in a few days, when I’m feeling better. And it isn’t snowing.

The first sign of spring

I was about a block from home when I heard it. My ears twitched, catlike, and I smiled. It wasn’t a robin, nor the CRACK! of bat against ball, but it signaled the coming season all the same. This is what I heard: 

 

 

So get your short-sleeved shirts ready, because spring is (unofficially) here. :)

Words I could live without: the exciting sequel (Now with a bonus phrase!)

~ ____ is the new ____

~ fanboy/-girl

~ Twitter

Also see:

Words I could live without

Words (and a phrase) I could live without: now it’s a trilogy!

//

They make envelopes, don’t they?

I’m not sure why, exactly, but I’ve been thinking lately that I would like to receive a letter. An honest-to-goodness, handwritten-on-actual-paper, letter. I guess I’ve just been in a nostalgic mood recently. Even my subconscious has gotten into the act– I had two separate dreams last week about people I haven’t seen since elementary school!

Snow day!

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I was desperate for a day off; after all, I was just on vacation the week before last. But New York City schools never close (the last time, according to the news, was in 2004), so I thought that this occasion should be commemorated, recorded in black and white (or blue-gray and ecru ;)).

Concise book review No. 2: “When Will There Be Good News?”

Well, “When Will There Be Good News?” is certainly a most apropos title. The story is a bleak one– a multiple murder occurs in the first few pages (don’t worry, that’s not a spoiler)– but thanks to likable, fully human characters, rarely a depressing one. In fact, I feel that the story is almost secondary– the characters make the book.

If it’s Venus you want to go to, you’re out of luck

You’re a kitty!

Meet Shira. Her interests include licking fingers, drinking from the sink, and, most of all, her stuffed toy seahorses.

 

My inaugural photo post (new camera edition)!

I first saw this outside my building on, appropriately, Inauguration Day. I was charmed by it, filled with the optimism and renewed pride that whoever embedded it in the earth must have felt. I immediately knew that this would be one of my first pictures.

Words I could live without

I love words. Love weaving them into sentences, love crosswords and other such puzzles. But I could live without seeing or hearing these words again:

~bromance

~cougar (and I don’t mean the animal)

~tweens (especially in reference to Sasha Obama. She’s seven–a little girl!)

 

Feel free to add words you could live without in the comments, and also check out:

Words I could live without: the exciting sequel (Now with a bonus phrase!)

Words (and a phrase) I could live without: now it’s a trilogy!

//

Young and restless

(No, I’m not talking about a TV show, for once. ;))

I was literally restless Thursday night into Friday– I absolutely could not sleep. I finally got a few hours’ worth in the late afternoon/early evening (I had this week off, luckily), but not only did my sleeplessness torpedo my plans for yesterday, it seems determined to continue to wreak havoc, as I am still awake, head a-pounding.

But that’s not what this post is about. Over the past few years, I’ve just had these periods of restlessness, of feeling that there was something I should be doing, something new I should be seeing. Maybe photography will prove to be the something.

(Hmm–I guess sleep-deprivation makes me let down my privacy shield a bit. :))

Aw :(

Socks the cat is now chasing mice elsewhere.

Friday fun

~Vote for the weirdest book title of the year! Let me know what you chose– personally, I went for “Curbside Consultation of the Colon.” Uh, as strangest title, that is.  

~ I am not a big movie person. Yes, TV, as you’ve no doubt gleaned, is my preferred form of moving-image entertainment. But I love a good worst list. This one is about the worst sequels of all time– in one man’s opinion, anyway.

~ This is why it pays to know a foreign language.

Mets musings and more

~Shea Stadium is officially gone. I went by there Monday to see what was left and to see the progress of NewShea, and upon seeing that just a bit of the right field stands remained, I actually got a little choked up. Unfortunately, I hadn’t yet gotten my camera, and I didn’t realize that I wouldn’t have another chance to capture the remains of the Shea.

~Now I have my camera.

~This sounds like a great charity.

I almost forgot :(

Three years ago today.

Tuesday tidbits

~It’s nice to have a president who can pronounce ‘nuclear.’ I’m just saying.

~A-Rod admitted his steroid use. Is he telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth? I have my doubts. And if “honesty,” as he stated over and over again, is so important, then, uh, why wasn’t he honest until he had to be? And if “this is [his] fault,” then why is he acting like it’s Selena Roberts’s?

 

 

(With apologies to Andy Rooney)

Did you ever notice that if you’re trying not to think about something (or someone, for that matter), references to it (them) are seemingly everywhere?

No, really. Did you?

The drama never ends…

Report: A-Rod tested positive for steroids in ’03

I’m rather curious to see what punny headlines will grace the papers tomorrow. (“A-nabolic” was the first thing that came to my mind.)

(A-ddendum: A rather uninspiring collection: A-Roid, A-Fraud, A-R*d. Come on, guys (gals?), you can do better than that!)

Manny musings

Report: Manny rejects Dodgers’ $25M 

You know, I wish that the Dodgers and Giants would reject him already. “25 million isn’t enough? Okay. Guess you’ll have to find something else to do from April through October, then. I hear embroidery is fun.”

I’m not sure it would have an impact on him, though. Worse, it would mean that the Manny-to-Mets speculation/pleading would never end. (Million Manny March?!)

Weird (news) Wednesday

This headline was too amusing to go unposted: Traveler nabbed with pigeons in pants 

(I also liked the part about the undeclared eggplant. :D)

Commercial critiques part 2: the good (or, at least, the better)

Cutest: Budweiser: Clydesdale plays fetch

The ending is funny… Teleflora.com: Box of Flowers

The ending isn’t particularly funny…but the rest is pretty amusing: Hulu: Alec Baldwin

Most clever: Monster.com: Moose

Most heartstring-tugging: Budweiser: Clydesdale generations

Most visually creative: Coca Cola: Bugs; Coca-Cola: Strangers

Would have been most clever if not for the koala-punching: Careerbuilder.com: It’s time

Commercial critiques part 1: the bad

Whew! I’ve finally finished watching the Super Bowl ads (instead of doing something sensible, like, you know, sleeping ;)). Here are my ‘awards’ (click on the name of the commercial to watch it):

Creepiest: SoBe: NFL Ballerinas   

Dumbest: Doritos: Lucky Day; Pepsi: MacGruber  

Most likely to make intelligent women cringe: GoDaddy.com: Enhanced  

Most likely to make me feel like I need to shower (in other words, ickiest): Taco Bell: Smooth Moves 

Most likely to make me turn down the volume: Hyundai: Global Domination     

Most pretentious (faux-pretentious?): Heineken: Vanguard    

Most “wow” inducing: Cash4Gold.com  (Addendum: Looks like Cash4Gold has bigger problems than cheesy commercials.)

Sunday stuff

~What does the Super Bowl mean to me? That it’s almost time for spring training! (Although I do have to admit that I’m entertained by my neighbor’s intermittent cries of  “It’s a miracle!” and the like. :D)

~So, ABC deems Wipeout Bowl 1: Cheerleaders vs. Couch Potatoes worthy of airtime, but not the last three episodes of Pushing Daisies?

~For some reason, I am unable to post a blogroll, so I’ll mention my new favorite website (mentalfloss.com) here. Trivia quizzes and fascinating facts? How did I not know about this before a couple of months ago?!

 

And with that, I am going to go eat vegetable lasagna.

Is Ms. Hawking Daniel’s mother? How does Ben know her? What is Sun up to? How much do I love Hurley? Vincent!

(LOST is back. :))

A new day

Unlike many my age (29), I wasn’t for Obama from the start– I voted for Hillary in the primary. But I unhesitatingly voted for him in November, and when he won, I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, one I hadn’t even known was there.

As for my newly acquired weight (see my last post), I’m still filled with unease when I think about it. But whereas Monday and into yesterday it was the whole book, now it’s been reduced to a subplot.

In which I cryptically explain my last comment

I got some bad news yesterday. News that could impact my future, though that possibility has barely dented my consciousness. I can’t reconcile my new reality with the way I’ve always viewed myself, and attempting to is consuming my thoughts.

Concise book review No. 1: “The Thirteenth Tale”

The book: Diane Setterfield’s “The Thirteenth Tale,”  a story of mysteries and secrets (two of my favorite things to read about), and filled with engaging characters (including a narrator I identified with more than a little). But what I think will stick with me most was how atmospheric it was. Just thinking about it now, two days after I finished it, I feel as if I am on the moors, shrouded in darkness.

To be started later, on my way to work: Kate Atkinson’s “When Will There Be Good News?” When indeed, Kate.

Get a hobby!

I’ve thought for a while now about getting into photography. I have an artistic streak that I rarely indulge, but whenever I do, I’m reminded of how much I enjoy creating something.

Now I just have to get a camera– you know, a non-high-tech one. ;)

(It’s funny ’cause it’s true. ;))

From xkcd.com via Cute Overload.

I’m a liar

The fact that these words are coming out of my fingers (well, not literally, though that would be kind of cool) and appearing before your eyes officially makes me not the least likely person to blog. Truth be told, this isn’t even my first attempt at blogging. (Gasp!) But I am a rather unlikely candidate for bloghood:

1) I am a very private person. (Sorry, no salacious revelations here. I am not a salacious kind of girl. :))

2) I kind of hate the word blog. (Don’t even get me started on ‘vlog.’ Shudder.)

3) I really question if anyone particularly cares that I love toast or that it smelled like Flintstones vitamins in the first floor hallway of my building last week. (Though I do, and it did.)

4) I got my first– and only– cell phone three years ago. I don’t I.M. You won’t find me on Facebook or MySpace, and I just don’t get Twitter. What I’m saying is, I’m not going to win the Miss High Tech pageant any time soon.

So why am I doing this? I guess the main reason is that, at heart, I’m a writer.

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